Local Flavor: Tillamook Golden 'Bruffins' Pt. 1 Ingredients

Today we're livening things up in the kitchen; don't worry, there won't be any whale poop, cow tongue, or dog food involved. Today we're going to be making an old local recipe from a Tillamook Cheese ad. Tillamook cheese has been a local staple in the Pacific Northwest for decades, and today we're going to be making Tillamook 'Golden Bruffins.' What's a bruffin? According to Urban Dictionary, a 'bruffin' is a hermaphrodite, or something a hermaphrodite eats. We're not making hermaphrodites today, and I don't know if they eat 'Golden Bruffins' or not, but they should! We imagine 'bruffin' is probably some sort of variant of 'muffin', perhaps 'breakfast muffin.' We don't really know, but they taste a heck of a lot better than anchovy balls.

Scandalous

Also today Lydia had to prepare for a 7-Up cocktail party, so we were left without a housewife until we stumbled across Beckie Sue. Beckie Sue is the scandalous single mother who lives down the street, but despite her suspicious past and trampy ways, we needed her help. Being a single mother, Beckie Sue knows that 'Golden Bruffins' are a quick and nutritious way to feed her multiple illegitimate children in the morning.

So what do you need to  make your own 'Golden Bruffins'? The first ingredient according to the original Tillamook cheese ad is 'biscuit mix.' Back in the day, this could have meant anything. In this day and age, we decided it meant Bisquick. I thought it was odd that pre-made biscuit mix was part of the recipe, but I guess they wanted to give desperate mothers like Beckie Sue a quick and easy way to enjoy Tillamook cheese.

The second ingredient is Tillamook grated cheese (but it doesn't say what kind. Perhaps they only had one kind back then, but now we have about a billion varieties, from colby jack to special reserve extra sharp cheddar. We chose medium cheddar.)

You will also need 1 egg.

You also need 1 cup of mashed bananas, which we discovered required four small bananas mashed with a fork. It's easier if you grasp the banana first and squeeze it in your hand to loosen it up. Beckie Sue was particularly good at this.

Amazing

Next you'll need 1 cup of undrained crushed pineapple in a can. This was quite easy to find, and all it requires is a can opener and a measuring cup.

The last ingredient is milk. This is also pretty easy to find, but comes in different types. We went with 2%.

To Be Continued...