We had some special help for this retro food creation, my lovely guest model Betty Lou and photography provided by Tiare and Michal.
Today we decided to make Deviled Hash. Our original intent was to make Eggplant Parmigiano Americano, because of its ridiculous name and the fact that it looks like a casserole dish of cow pies floating in mud. However, when we went to the grocery store we were dismayed to discover that they had no eggplants. None. We even had a sales associate go look in the back and there were none to be found. It was shocking. I really felt like I was in the '50's, before genetically modified mutant food made all produce available no matter what time of year it is.
So. Sadly disappointed by a freak absence of eggplant our next idea was to make Deviled Hash, even though Michal had already started defrosting the hamburger required for the Eggplant Parmigiano Americano. We decided to just mix the corned beef hash the recipe calls for with the hamburger meat, hopefully improving the overall taste. We already had chili sauce leftover from the shrimp chili mold and some cheese, so all we needed to buy was the corn beef hash (at the end of the aisle hiding on the bottom shelf by the chili), eggs, and 'light cream'. However, we couldn't find any light cream so we went with half and half.
Our first step was making the deviled eggs. The only thing about this hash that makes it 'deviled' hash would be the deviled eggs, so they were an important step. According to Betty Lou, deviled eggs required mayo, mustard, salt, pepper, and pickle juice. We went with Miracle Whip because it's far superior to mayo despite Betty Lou's insistence that it was sacrilege, but otherwise went with Betty Lou's recipe. We took an unusually long time to make the deviled eggs, and made quite a mess in the process, but we finally finished and put them in the fridge until we needed them.
The next step was to mix the meat. The ground beef was dumped into a bowl and mixed together with the two cans of corned beef hash. Corned beef hash, for those who are unfamiliar, pretty much looks and smells like lumpy dog food. Betty Lou, being the trooper she is, volunteered to mix the meat.
Next we melted some butter and poured it into the bottom of our casserole dish. And, unfortunately, with three of us taking pictures and moving around in the kitchen, we completely forgot to add the cheese. I didn't even remember until probably 5 hours after the fact. I don't think it would have improved the recipe, but I suppose anything's possible. Instead of adding the cheese, we moved ahead and dumped the meat into the casserole dish.
We then pour the light cream (or half and half in this instance) over the top of the meat, and then pour the chili sauce over the top of that. Once this is done and the oven has been pre-heated to 400 degrees, it's time to pop the casserole in the oven and go out for a smoke break!
The smoke break is always the most important part of a retro housewife's day. She wanted a cocktail to go with it, but it wasn't even 5:00pm yet! Besides, we couldn't have her getting liquored up before we were finished. You can't cook if you're passed out!
Once our smoke break was finished and 30 minutes had gone by, it was time to take the casserole out of the oven. It was especially bubbly and greasy. Betty Lou placed the deviled eggs on top of the casserole, and then the oven was put on broil so that we could brown the eggs. The eggs didn't exactly brown evenly, so we ended up with a few blackened on the ends, but they were otherwise ok.
The final result looked like bubbling juicy dog food with deviled eggs on top. While Betty Lou looked terrific, the deviled hash did not look remotely appetizing to me at all. Unfortunately, for scientific purposes we would have to eat it.
So it tasted about as good as it looked. It was rather flavorless, and corned beef hash is just never going to be good no matter what you do to it. I have to say I pity the children of the '50's whose mothers served this mess to them. Betty Lou would only eat one bite, but Michal and I managed a small plate full. The leftovers will probably end up as actual dog food, as I doubt anyone will want to finish it, but we did take some to Betty Lou's boyfriend. He turned out to be the only person who genuinely like the hash, so I suppose even though we left out a key ingredient, got the eggs a little toastier than they were supposed to be, and made something that most people wouldn't eat on a dare, we can consider it a success because one person at least enjoyed our efforts.